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Stars

from Set Us Ablaze by Ed Fuchs

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about

As I look back over my life I am amazed at how far God has taken me and everything that He has brought me through. Today I am an independent Christian artist creating music for the One who has created me. My first CD “Set Us Ablaze” was released December 20, 2011 and I am very excited for what 2012 holds, and Who holds it.

On February 19th I will be sober for 6 years having successfully completed the Christian life school Teen Challenge as well as Teen Challenge Ministry Institute, a Bible college equipping graduates for hands-on ministry. And what’s the best part? My mother, Rose, has also successfully completed these endeavors and also approaches her 6-year sobriety mark. Today we both have each other, our God, sobriety and more than that, purpose.

Through the years that seem to have flown by, there were times when emotion weighed heavily on our hearts. Questioning our mutual sobriety and wondering if it would last. Past hurts returning to render us undone. All along the journey there was threatening silence that found us, alone, in our insecurities… Could we forgive? Could we forgive each other? Could we forgive ourselves?

These daunting questions begged for reckoning but with me in the Men’s home in Riverside, and Rose in the women’s home in Ventura, strict schedules and limited phone time, the pressing circumstances didn’t afford us the opportunity to share and heal.

In the brief moments we shared on those short long-distance calls when time was never enough, when I missed the comfort of family and could only speak with Mom on the phone, I would tell her that all she had to do was look up to the stars on “Miracle Mountain” in Ventura, and know I wasn’t that far away looking at the same stars. Little did I know that years later I would write this song, and though it has the God-creation meaning, the obvious romantic interpretation, and several others, I wanted to share parts of the song-writing process with you, the ones called life, loss, and Love.

(Part 2)

I’ve been to two funerals on Valentine’s Day. A time where couples cuddle, exchanging chocolates and roses instead brings for me certain somber tone.

Robin was my aunt. I loved her like a second mother. When chaos would ensue in my alcoholic upbringing she was the one I would run away to. Her death was much too soon and she will be forever missed and cherished in our hearts.

Counseling books will tell you that there are five stages to the grieving process; denial, bartering, anger, depression and finally, acceptance. Once she died I went straight to depression. In an effort alleviate my pain, I became engulfed in drugs. I wanted to escape but instead I became enslaved. In pursuit of freedom, I found chains.

I remember Ray, a talented bass player on the worship team, genuine and sincere; he truly had a heart of gold. He was the kind of guy who’d give you the shirt off his back. He was killed in a tragic car accident one early morning as the desert sun came up to meet him for one last serenade. It was a closed casket funeral and I was one of the people to shovel dirt on the coffin. As we headed back into the gathering for the memorial service I hid in the restroom to take my elixir of pharmaceutical grade opiates, muscle relaxers, and Xanax in hopes of drowning away the pain and numbing myself to the vicious cycle I was in. I left Vegas three days later…

Robin died eight years ago and Ray six. It has been a long journey now approaching six years sober on February 19th. I’m a better man for it and Robin and Ray would be proud. I miss them terribly at times. I know that they are in the better place now.

In 2 Corinthians 12:2-4 Apostle Paul mentions the “third heaven.” Many people have wondered what the number reference is to and some cults have even built doctrine surrounding this somewhat obscure passage. Are you ready for this mystery to be revealed? The first heaven is the one that we can look at right now and behold the birds flying, hear the wind whispering, and watch the lightening split the sky. The second heaven is the celestial plane where the cosmos collide in a vast array of giant sizes and fascinating colors, God’s beautiful handiwork. And the third heaven? It’s simply the place where God is. It is the better place. The dimension we cannot see but will someday. And right now Robin and Ray are there worshiping the Creator and waiting for us. We are but breaths away, only moments until morning’s final wake when the Son will come up and greet us too.

“Any time you see the stars, You know that I’m not very far.”

Let that be the song that Robin, Ray and lost loved ones sing over us.

lyrics

Stars

Music & Lyrics by Ed Fuchs


Thinking of you this fine evening

Seeing you through the leaving of imprints

Impressed upon my mind’s eye

Beholding the same stars caressed on our sight

Twinkling in the twilight of a most

Precious black night

Of the soul.


Anytime you see the stars

You know that I’m not very far…


Thinking of you this fine evening

Seeing you through the leaving of imprints

Impressed upon my mind’s eye

Beholding the same stars caressed on our sight

Twinkling in the twilight of a most

Precious black (bleak) night

Of the soul.


Anytime you see the stars

You know that I’m not very far…

Anytime you see the stars…

(Every time I see the stars…)

You know that I’m not very far…

(I know that you’re not very far…)

credits

from Set Us Ablaze, released December 20, 2011
Music & Lyrics by Ed Fuchs

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about

Ed Fuchs Los Angeles, California

A look at Ed Fuchs’ life suggests there’s no such thing as coincidence. All moments converge to create something more significant than their individual parts. Fuchs traveled from addictions to redemption, from metal front man to worship leader. A child flutist turned singer/songwriter/guitar player, Fuchs creates a complex sound that moves beyond the surface and deals with matters of the soul. ... more

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